A Short Essay on Purpose

Purpose is not created by us, it within us before we contemplate it. I could not live knowing that I had to create a purpose for my life in order to survive. I could not live knowing that I—and I alone—was responsible for my ultimate success and happiness by finding my own purpose. This might appear awkward, for surely one's old-age feelings of adequacy and inadequacy are dependent upon their decisions—and of course their luck—in life. But then again, purpose is above these basic elements. It is the cart before the proverbial horse. And should be. It doesn't fit in line with the usual balances of life because it is not created by the human mind. It is Divine. What is purely human is short-lived, faux and cheap, like the valueless value meal at McDonalds. Purpose is none of these.

In the Matrix, Neo responds to Morpheus' question regarding his frustration concerning fate, saying, "I don't like the idea of not being in control of my life." I agree with him. I do not like that idea either. We are more comfortable with planning and living our own lives than believing that somehow, somewhere, someone else (e.g. God) is also in charge of our lives, simultaneously. A scary prospect, perhaps. But what is comfortable almost always is complacent and ignorant. In my mind, this is a comforting revelation. I, for example, do not trust my judgment alone—and the composite judgment of my friends and family—to provide me with purpose and happiness in life. Sure, I could come close. I could live for the best in humanity—honor, dignity, love, etc. But to strive for dignity, for love, for honor, is limited as well—because in none of these lies true purpose.

I believe purpose is in each of us, but we must discover it. Perhaps we cannot know what it is, or what it is, but we can have a vague idea if we set aside our tendency to reject what at first appears to be ridiculous, or unpopular, or even initially not in our favor. I am skeptical of those who know their purpose, as if someone or God told them what it was. The idea is too similar to being told the future, which, by default, makes that version of the future impossible. But not knowing one's purpose is much different than having no purpose at all—without having purpose, we are rudderless and left to our own ideas of self-fulfillment, self-satisfaction and happiness—a prospect with which I am also uncomfortable. Is this weakness? To the critical of religion and the Divine, it is. It means I am too weak-minded to think for myself and create my own purpose. This, however, is an old, tired explanation for rejecting someone or something higher than ourselves. If we wallow in what makes up humanity—in our history, our accomplishments, our inherent limits—we limit ourselves much more severely than if we seek that which is higher than ourselves—that is to say, our inherent purpose in life. To live for something other than ourselves.

But where do we find this purpose, if it indeed exists? Is it found in books? In love? In 2007 Cadillac Escalades? I wish it was found in any one of these, because life would be easier. I could climb the mountain and reach the top—finding purpose at the pinnacle of human cognition. But sadly, life does not work this way. We do not reach the top. Inconsistent with the rules, goals, and boundaries we place in life, there is no end—no final goal reached that truly completes our life's chapter in the great chronicle of humanity. Instead, fortunately, there is only more until we are forced to stop at our death.

No, purpose could not be human, because it is inconsistent with what is produced by humanity. It does not follow the rules. It is not something to be found through research. It is merely in us, waiting to be discovered. Only, we must be willing to humble ourselves before Him and retrieve it.

Rolling out

On May 13 I graduated from Baylor University. I took a picture of the green diploma-tube but it came out badly. So the alumni sticker shown here will have to suffice. One of the redeeming qualities of this picture is there are actually three included in the shot—through the window, the reflected picture and the picture of the window itself. Yes, accidental and only mildly interesting.

About three days after it seemed everyone had exited the Waco premises and left me behind, I suddenly adapted to my new, temporary living arrangement. I know a handful of people who remain in the area and see them occasionally—otherwise, it's just me hanging out at the apartment. But I think I could get used to this. No offense to my former roommates, but it's an interesting concept to have such a large measure of privacy, and one to be viewed in a rather positive light.

Friday and Saturday I sent out three resumes/cover letters to three more businesses: a publisher, a lobbying firm and a think tank in the Washington, D.C. area. On Monday, hopefully, I will get frantic calls for me to come interview with each one during the time I am in Washington. Or, better yet, offers to fly me up there on their expense. At any rate, I hope one of them at least gives me and interview.

I also beat the rental-car game. As many of you know, there is a standard $25 extra charge per day for clients ages 21-25. Because I require a vehicle for a week, I was initially alarmed at the exhorbitant rate it appeared I must pay. Thanks to Budget rental cars, however, the fee was waived for an unknown reason, and I am only paying $265 for nearly 7 days. This included the significant Baylor Alumni discount. It pays to be Bear.

I must apologize this post doesn't include anything thought-provoking or even mildly entertaining. I am simply not in the mood. It will get better, though, in the future. I have yet to make a final Baylor-in-the-review-mirror post—this will occur within the next week.

In less than 10 hours...

I will be a Baylor alumnus. Right after graduation, I will be installing my alumni license plate frame, and it will be amazing. And I will post a picture of it.

Classes: Complete
Grades: Turned in
GPA: 3.53

College: Complete

A small, notable milestone today

I applied for my first professional job today. As of this writing my resume, cover letter and writing samples are sitting at the main Waco mailroom waiting to be delivered to Sterling, VA. It's a writing position for a major communications company that handles clientes who need materials for public relations, marketing, training and general media. It's a long shot but I have hope!

I saw this the other day on the weather channel's website, and noted that it couldn't possibly be accurate. No precipitation anywhere in the US?